Our Love Story: Part V

Sixteen years ago today I married my best friend.  

The road to that point was was unconventional, crazy, filled with joy, tears, and redemption.  The story is ours and looking back I see the hand of God all over it.  A real picture of His redemption, taking something we'd made a mess of and Him turning it into something beautiful.  

Our wedding day was filled with people who loved us, some who thought we'd never make it, and others who knew we would.  It was those people that helped form our will to work hard, it was the encouragement and prayers of those who believed in us that carried us when things weren't so tidy and beautiful.  

Above all it was the grace of God that HE would redeem, that with Him at the helm we would be stronger.  Sixteen beautifully broken, gloriously ruined, I need more of Jesus years later we've lived in three states, weathered nine moves, bought two houses, experienced miscarriages, job losses and personal struggles.  We serve a God who has walked beside us through joy and tears, faith and failure, excitement and fear.  He's never left us, He's carried us, grown us, and loved us even when we weren't lovely.  

With five of the funniest most amazing kids ever, we're forever changed by the truth of the gospel.  We're passionate about caring for those who cannot care for themselves, adoption, loving others as Christ loved us and together we are stronger.  Babe I look forward to growing old with you.  

Thank you Jesus for your redemption, love and grace.  Without it we would be nothing.

Our prayer is that God would use our story for His glory!  He makes all things beautiful.

He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live;  Ecclesiastes 3:11-12

Our Love Story: Part IV

That Spring I finished high school and planned to go to community college in the Fall.  In the meantime I went through Life Guard training at our local pool since it seemed to line up with my plan to go to paramedic school.  It was my first "real world" experience.  I'd worked at a local consignment store run by another homeschool family and babysat/nannied for other families but I hadn't really ever been in a job with my peers.  I was excited for this new venture.  I loved my job and new found freedom.  David had started apprenticing with a local builder, we weren't really "together" because my parents still weren't for that whole dating thing but we kinda were. (again, sorry parents, the truth will set you free, remember those grandkids?)  He would show up at the pool sometimes, we saw each other at youth and home school activities.  

That summer David went on a trip to California and some chick wanted to take him to prom so he said yes, came home and "broke off" whatever it was we were.  I was ticked.  She wasn't all that great so I figured it would last long.  Besides seriously?  Prom?  Whatevs.  It didn't last long.  We had remained friends and well, she just wasn't me.  :)  We were "back together" not long after.  

I started community college that Fall completing Fall and Spring semester all while working at the pool.  The Spring of 1996 brought with it two Shubin weddings and my official graduation from high school.  Davids oldest brother was married in March, May was graduation, I turned 18 in June, bought my first car, and Davids second brother got married.  I was in the wedding, it was fun, Summer was great, I was working like crazy so I could pay for Fall semester.  

Right before school started I house sat for a co-worker for three weeks, I was in a bit of a rebellion questioning everything I'd been taught, that point in your life where you're an adult but nothing makes sense.  Since about 16 I'd questioned alot but couldn't talk openly with my parents out of my own fear of disappointing them.  Because my decisions weren't always the greatest my parents were always upset with me.  I couldn't take it and moved out after they set some "rules" I couldn't live with. (quit school and work, those weren't options for me since I'd paid for school myself)  I had a few options on where to live but ultimately my old youth leaders offered a room to me and I knew I needed to be somewhere that would challenge me and grow me vs. take me down a path of bad choices.  To this day their love for me/us even during our crap has been one of the most influential in our lives.  We're so thankful for them.

David decided he wanted to consider being an architect and started working at a firm downtown to get a closer look before making that decision.  Things were good, I was adjusting to being responsible for my own bills, school, and work.  David and I weren't together at the time that I moved  but that was simply because we were trying to be wise in our choices and we weren't always when we were together.  

In December I found out I was pregnant.  Two and a half months pregnant.  I didn't know what to do so I froze.  I told no one for a long time.  When I finally got up the nerve to tell David late one night after work it was shock and sheer fear.  He asked that I give him three days to think and then we'd talk.  I agreed.  Less then 24 hours later he called and said we needed to get back together and figure this out together.  There were two things we knew.  We loved each other and we loved our baby.  The details was where it would get complicated.  We both froze.  For about eight weeks.  Finally one night David told his mom.  I told my parents the next day.  It wasn't easy but we knew it wouldn't be.  We knew we'd let our family down but more then that we'd sinned against God yet our God is full of grace and mercy.  His redemption even in brokenness, we clung to that promise.  We planned to marry the May after our baby would be born but when we told our parents they advised us to get married before the baby so we could be a family.  That made sense to us and we'd made enough poor choices it was time to make a good one.

David asked my dads permission to marry me.  Later that week he got down on one knee and of course I said yes.  One thing our parents wanted us to have was good memories and a wedding.  We were so blessed by the support even in the midst of knowing it would be hard.  Wedding plans were under way and it was going to be a race against a six week clock.  

**everything written is used with with permission from my husband and of course my precious oldest daughter.  We've never hidden our story, we've just never shared publicly.  We truly pray that our story shows Gods redemption, His love, and how HE makes all things beautiful.

Our Love Story: Part III

Here we go!  If you're just reading this for the first time be sure and go get caught up reading Part I Here and Part II Here!

I've returned from refining school all lady like, Davids all manly from his boot camp and Russia trip.  I'm not sure what everyone expected but hello boy meets girl!  Suddenly there was this new awareness in our friendship and neither of us wanted to admit it really.  We didn't want things to change, we liked being friends.  I was still a tom boy no matter how much refining was attempted.  I was the girl with a pet scorpion for goodness sake!  Our families still spent a good amount of time together, we dissected things at the Shubin family kitchen table, we learned repelling skills from David as we repelled off the nearest rooftop.

One day (yes really.....just one random day) during some regular banter there was an ah ha moment that came to both of us.  Sitting on the floor talking one night we both realized we were more then friends.  Nothing was said, just a moment of realization.  It wasn't until way later that we both talked about that being "it" for both of us.  I was 17, he was 18, we were scared, didn't know what all of this meant but I thought just maybe it might be love.

Our church planned a youth ski trip and we were both going.  My mother was a chaperone and I knew I liked this boy but couldn't tell her because you know that thing about boys and girls - yeah we weren't supposed to like each other.  Plus he'd held my hand remember so he was permanently off the list and he was a rebel so things weren't looking good for him.  ;)  But I liked him, I saw passed that bad boy attitude, and saw something more.  Or perhaps I was in a bit of an almost rebellion against this rigid do this and do that teaching and thought things didn't quite add up to what I read in my bible.  Not really a great place to be but that's where I was.  Add in some hormones and we've got some crazy going on!  

The week before we left for our awesomeness ski trip there was some snow clothes needed and we were at the Shubin house gathering odds and ends to make sure we stayed warm on the mountain.  Chatter of skiing and big talk of hitting up the black diamond hills was going down, bets on who would ski better/faster/longer.  Somewhere in all of that big talk looking through old pictures there was a moment of quiet, no one else around and David leaned in for a kiss.  It felt right. (David would say this was the game changing moment for him)  Even though I knew it went against everything I'd been taught it was perfect and its our story.  (mom I know.....freak out.....just think about how awesome your five grandkids are)  

We went on that ski trip.  It was just as awesome as we'd imagined.  I'm sure my mom had her suspicions, we spent the entire time trying to avoid everyone and skiing the hardest runs we could.  I kicked his butt on the slopes (he'll have to blog to dispute that one thats my story and I'm stickin to it) and that trip is still one of our very favorite memories ever.  We hung out the entire day just talking, skiing, crashing, and freezing.  We were falling for each other.

I'm picture hunting so I'll add those once I find them.  For now I want to get all of these up!  Part IV coming tomorrow and the final chapter on Friday.  :) 

Our Love Story: Part II

More of our la tee dah la la love story!

In case you missed the first post - you'll find that here.

So we're friends, we've gotten beyond the big glasses we both sported, now a wee bit hotter in our new contacts.  We've entered the 90's.  We have youth group together, I'm still not as cool as he is, there's mud volleyball, 40 foot Ice Cream Sundaes, water fights, and a circle of friends where the girls have all had a crush on one or the other of these Shubin boys.  I'm still a tom boy, not really into boys for anything other then friends.  Then I hit about 14 and the thought of a "boyfriend" entered the picture, that idea quickly left when I was reminded that I'm not allowed to date.  I was okay with it at that moment, although curious and life went on.

That next Fall there was a pastors seminar that my parents were attending - I was allowed to go as were several other older kids.  Davids family also went - that David he was kind of a bit of a rebel ya know....I was perfect.  ;)  I liked the rebel in him.  We were "just friends" but I was curious, okay so maybe he was too.  He held my hand.  My parents freaked.  I vowed to never do that again.  (note: not a good idea to hold hands at a super strict pastors seminar with your parents there, we weren't all that stealth) 

Come summer our homeschool organization again put on a seminar that also had a children's seminar where us "older" kids could volunteer to help.  I liked kids so this seemed like a good fit.  Those Shubins were in this same homeschool circle and they were volunteering too.  All of us volunteers went early and since I didn't drive yet we got a ride. David had just gotten a new to him car and he was pretty impressed with himself so he drove.  (it did have a sun roof.....so I guess that made it extra cool)   I think my parents were nervous to let me hang with this rebel child in any fashion.  I mean we'd held hands and all..... 

This week was different I realized something.  Again, boys and girls aren't really supposed to mingle at these events (or ever really, unless you're married) but I couldn't help notice that on Davids team there was a little boy that was adopted and he had some pretty major special needs.  He couldn't walk and every time we had a large group session David would take him out of his wheelchair and put him on his shoulders.  I filed that little tidbit away as something I'd need to see in a future husband since I knew I wanted to adopt someday and whoever I married would have to be okay with this.  (years later my mom asked how I knew David would be a good husband and this was the exact thing I told her)

Sometime later my parents thought I needed to attend a girls "finishing" school of sorts with our home school organization.  I wasn't opposed but I also knew how strict this organization was and how much of a tom boy I was.  I had friends that were going, Masha was a team leader there so I didn't figure it would be that bad.  Besides it was two months in another state, forget the fact that I had to wear skirts the whole time, maybe I'd make some new friends and I might even learn a thing or two.  Around this same time David decided to join the guys version of "refinement" school.  It was more like military boot camp and honestly I was a little jealous because they got to do MUCH more exciting things!  Who wouldn't want to repel off buildings, gut deer, dive, and hike?  We left around the same time and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about him while I was away.  He had become a good friend and I trusted him more then most of my other friends.  

I returned home all refined, David was asked to go to Russia to remodel some orphanages there, his brother was already teaching English in Russia so his parents sent him.  I was again jealous, why in the world did he get to do all these AWESOME things and all I got to do was learn how to emboss and arrange flowers!  David was gone over Christmas and returned that January, his sister arranged a surprise welcome home, it was fun, he was home, and only time would tell what the future held.

Part III to follow.....

Our Love Story: Of Love And Redemption

This month marks our 16th anniversary.  I thought it would be fun to tell our love story.  :)  Its a bit unconventional but its ours, a real life story of Gods grace, love, and redemption.  

I was raised in a strict Christian home, grew up in a small farming town South of Portland, Oregon.  My dad worked a lot in order to pay the bills and my mom homeschooled my brother and I through high school.  I was taught that you didn't date and when the right guy came along Dad would take care of it.  

He was raised in a Christian home, grew up in the same area, part of the time on a farm, and later moved into town.  He too was homeschooled except for two years at public school and a year at private school.  He had two sisters and four brothers.

One Sunday in October, 1988 a new family walked into the church I'd grown up in.  They weren't hard to miss as they took up an entire pew with their seven children.  My mother had introduced herself quickly and found they had a daughter she was sure was my age.  After meeting them all with an awkward hello as any 10 year old would have I went off with my friends chattering about that new family with so many kids. 

Fast forward a couple weeks and somewhere along the way our family was invited over dinner.  I'll never forget it.  I'd been to many friends houses for dinner but this was different.  Tanya could cook like nobody's business.  (Its funny recounting this story being on this side of things now.) l instantly loved the activity that came with a large family, it was never boring and there was always someone to talk to or something to do.  I became fast friends with Masha, (the girl my mother thought was my age but in reality was 5 years older then me) she liked to paint and do quirky things, she was cool, and the fact that she'd hang with me was even better.  

As time went on our families did more and more together, dinner, bible studies, homeschool activities, church, and youth get togethers.  Going to the same church and being in the same circles lends to much time together.  I always seemed to like hanging out with the boys more then girls.  I was a bit of a tomboy growing up, climbing trees, shooting guns, hiking, and mucking in the barn was WAY more fun then sitting around doing nails or primping.  (probably why Masha and I were friends, she wasn't into those girlie things either)  I felt boys were easier to talk to and they didn't go around telling your secrets.  It wasn't surprising after hanging out at that Shubin house so often that the nerdy boy with glasses that I wasn't so fond of back in '88 became my friend.  Neither of us had a great first impression of each other but over time we kinda enjoyed each others company.  

Pt. 2 to follow shortly.........