Sweet 16.

Sixteen years ago a little 5lb 10oz baby girl made me a mama.  I find myself going back to that day, it doesn't seem that long ago.  My world turned upside down, in a good way.  Her daddy and I had planned and prepped as best we knew how.  I knew being a mom would change me, I just didn't quite expect to have those feelings of fierce protection for this little life so quickly.  I didn't expect that I would give up anything just to make sure my girl was okay.  I understood love in an all new way.  I fell more in love with my husband in that moment as I watched him hold his precious daughter, caring for her and me.  At just 19 and 20 we grew up quick.  Our baby was our main priority.

Yes, David and I were young when we became parents.  You can read all of our Love Story posts to catch up on the back history.  Many said we weren't ready, they were partly right.  Over the years I've come to realize I don't think anyone is ever "ready".  Becoming a parent for the first time is scary and hard.  It takes responsibility to an all new level.  You're signed on to love, nurture, and care for another human being for at least the next 18 years.  I wouldn't change our journey for the world, its our story and I'm so thankful for Gods grace and redemption.  He used a little girl to bring her daddy and I to himself.  In His graciousness He also knew I needed a sweet little babe that didn't cry much, went with the flow, did everything with her parents, and loved just being around people.  

Nichol you changed my world, you've taught me to love deeper, to think the best in others, to live each day to the fullest, to not worry about what others think, to be more confident, and to see life as the exciting God given blessing that it is.  Those are your strengths sweet girl and I'm grateful to have a daughter that challenges me.  Watching you grow in your relationship with the Lord humbles me.  You are my daughter but you are a daughter of the King first. I didn't know the day your Daddy and I dedicated you back to the Lord how hard that would also be.   As I watch you grow up and learn to let go and slowly let you go I know that Jesus loves you more then Daddy or I ever could.  He loves you perfectly.

Sweet girl, my prayer for you this year is that you would grow closer to our King, dig deeper in His word, cling to His truths when times get tough, lean in close when you aren't sure what the future holds, pray more, love bigger, and grasp tightly to Jesus, your rock, deliverer, and gracious Father.  Love others, give more, live radically, and let your light SHINE.

Baby girl.  I LOVE YOU.  I'm so proud of you.  Honored to be your mom.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
    and do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge him,
    and he will make straight your paths. 

Proverbs 3:5-6

This song is my ring tone when Chol calls.  It pretty much sums up what my heart feels even though I know I cannot stop time.

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger 

And it's so quiet in the world tonight 

Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming 

So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light 

To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret 

I'd give all I have, honey 

If you could stay like that 

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up 

Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little 

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up 

Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple 

I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart 

And no one will desert you 

Just try to never grow up, never grow up

PC: Jessica Oh