That's how many days its been since I met my daughter for the first time. As I think back on the past 44 days I'm leveled. A small girl has completely invaded every bit of my being. I guess that really happened with a small picture I saw on a waiting child list four and a half months ago. Holding her just makes it real, kissing her sweet face, and whispering in her ear that I'm her mommy and will always be sends me over the edge of emotion.
When Zahra grabs me, wraps her entire body around me squeezing so tight and kissing my cheeks saying "I luff you mommy" I melt. Its an incredible reminder that children belong in families. Children should not be waiting on lists, they should be in our homes, in little beds covered in good night kisses and bedtime prayers. Zahra knows she is loved and the way she shows it at this point in our relationship is by squeezing me with everything she has. Every single morning her daddy and I are greeted with huge hugs and the full body cuddle. She clings and doesn't let go until she's had enough or decides she wants oatmeal. (her single most favorite food on the planet) She is working on a secure attachment to us. We are facilitating that attachment. Daily reinforcing what that looks like.
When we met just 44 days ago we were strangers. Today we're not strangers but we're still figuring things out. Together. It may not look the same as someone else's process but it is beautiful to me.