My wife asked me to write a post about adoption from a dad’s perspective. I don’t read many blogs let alone write them, but for her I will.
When we first started talking about adoption four or five years ago I was completely against it. I was against having more kid’s period. The main reason for it; selfishness. I didn’t want another child to be
responsible for, to educate, to train, to nurture. That would mean more food I would have to buy, more clothes that will need to be purchased, vacations will now be more expensive, and the list just goes on and on. It came down to pure selfishness and greed.
While I was walking my job site one day, I was thinking about when Jesus confronted Peter after He was raised from the dead. Jesus asked, “Do you love me?” Peter said, “Yes!” “Then feed my sheep” Jesus replied. I started thinking that if Jesus asked me that how would I respond? What does it mean to feed my sheep? Combine that with the conversations Erica and I had been having about adoption; I was convicted. I was living in disobedience; I was hardening my heart to Gods call. In multiple places God commands us to take care of orphans and widows. Was I doing that? No, in fact I was doing the exact opposite. I was caring more about selfish desires then what God wanted. At that moment I repented and asked God to forgive me of those sins. It was then that I wrote an email to Erica telling her it was time to start the adoption process. Ten months later we were walking down the airport terminal in Phoenix as I carried a 3 year old boy in my arms. My son.
As I reflected on the process while Silas was running around the terminal in one of the many airports we had layovers in, one of the things I remember most vividly is the feeling that I almost missed this. I would have missed the blessing of being a dad again. I would have missed being a father to this little boy simply because I would rather be able to buy that bigger TV or go to Disney five times a year.
Through this journey God showed me what His love is, Greater love
has no one than this that someone lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13. That is surrendering all that you have to Him, which will include my idol of self. On the surface I gave the appearance of Holiness, not realizing I was lying to myself and everybody else around me.
God now has us on another journey, this one of faith. The first one was to break our hearts toward the plight of the orphan and convict us of our idol of self, this one has been a journey of faith. Total dependence. God is growing our faith in His power like only God can. God has faithfully provided all the funds for a second adoption.
On the eve of my departure to pick up our fifth child, this time a little girl, I reflect back on the past year and how God has strengthened my faith. My love for Him has grown deeper and wider, it is a mystery to me how God chooses to sanctify us, but I wouldn’t change it for the world and its possessions. Plus I get to be a father to another little child. That is what
adoption is about, God doesn’t need us to adopt these kids. It is the height of all arrogance to think we are doing this because God can’t. God doesn’t call us to adopt just to help the children but it is to sanctify us. Do you really think you are the best parent in the world? I know I screw up all the time in raising my kids already. Yet the same way God has adopted us, we are now reflecting what God did for us on a physical level. He is redeeming us and at the same time he gets to use us to be the tool to redeem our children. We now get to love on, nurture, and raise these children the same way God does us. It doesn’t matter if it’s a biological or adopted child, God gave you both.
For all you dads that might be on the fence in regard to adoption, I would encourage you to search your heart, truly do
some deep searching in why you are saying no. I would bet that 9 out 10 times it will have to do with sin. Mine was selfishness and greed; I don’t know what yours is but I do know that God commands us to do something. And I don’t think when God commanded that he
was thinking just send money and that’s good enough. Let God use you. Step out in faith. Tear down your idol, whatever it might be. Stop living in fear and do violence on that idol.
I want to say how thrilled I am that my sweet husband would take the time to give me his perspective on adoption in writing. I value his wisdom so much and am honored to be his wife.