Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Training Daughters 101.


This post is brought to you with permission. I share this with utmost concern for daughters everywhere. (Really only those daughters whose mothers fail to give them the 411 on the use of an port-a-john)

Hi, my name is Erica and while I know I'm not perfect I really did consider myself rather forth coming with my daughters when it comes to life skills, the outside world, and giving them all the information they need to survive in life. Truly, I'm a pretty open and honest mom, I cover things with the girls probably before they need to be covered, I want them to hear such things from ME and not some weird kid on the play ground. You know all the normal things moms are supposed to tell their girls. I thought we were good in that department.

Until this past weekend.

Saturday we took our four children as well as our pastors four children to the airshow. It was a blast. Total blast. We all had a great time, no one was lost, everyone came home in one piece, much hand sanitizer was used, greasy food was ingested, port-a-johns were used, sunburns despite sunscreen happened, everyone had fun.

Now to the point. You know those toilet bowl fresheners some people used back in the 80's that clipped on the inside of the toilets with a plastic clippy and smelled a bit like soapy cherries? You know what I mean right? Also the little round kind they use in porta potty urinals so the nasty man pee (sorry man readers but its true, any wife and mother knows this fact) doesn't fill the air when one steps into the already gross not clean plastic house one uses at such places like air shows. Your following me right? Eight kids, two adults, air show, all day. Okay. All appeared fine while we were out Saturday, I double checked the use of hand sanitizer when the kids came out of the lovely plastic houses, I held the hands that used the sanitizer after using the plastic houses.


Fast forward to Sunday night at church when the kids were playing and talking about the previous days events, giggling and laughing. I don't remember the details of who said what because my ears were screaming.....all I heard was that my precious baby daughter had used the "soap" in the "sink" in the plastic house at the air show! (we ALL know there are no SINKS in the plastic houses) As the story is being told my oldest (and I thought more informed) daughter says "hey I did that too"! Seriously? Really? Soap? Sink? Outhouse? Its a URINAL people! (insert gag, vomit, sick to the stomach) The girls asked me what a urinal was and frankly the conversation went down hill from there, my oldest child is a germ-a-phob like her mother and the poor girl simply thought she was being extra hygienic. The girls "washed" their hands in the urinal with the sanitizing stone and then realized there was hand sanitizer.......

My precious daughters learned a valuable lesson that day. For the love of all things good and holy tell your daughters about the reality of (and germs and lack of sinks and that there is no SOAP) porta-johns! I know I won't soon forget, I don't think my girls will either.

15 comments:

We Are Family said...

DEAR LORD! I WILL BE EXPLAINING TO MY CHILDREN ASAP...DO NOT DO THIS! Oh wow! I have never even thought of that. Thanks for the heads up. I cannot wipe the 'yuck' off of my face. THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS!

Meli_Mama said...

Oh Erica - I'm dying over here - about 50/50 ew and laughter. I will definitely make sure to warn all my kiddos about that. I didn't even know there were urinals in port-a-potties. I avoid them at all costs.

DangitAnge said...

Oh my word! I'm laughing SO insanely hard here! Eww eww eww! ICK!

Tawna said...

Oh my goodness, that is absolutely HILARIOUS!

Becky said...

Too funny and gross!

Rachel said...

hahaha hilarious!! But truly I'm laughing WITH you......

I just think it's so funny that it happened to you since you are so proactive with your kids. Now had something like this happened to me and my kids--no one would have been surprised. After all, they've been homeschooled all their lives and we rarely let them out of their cages.

SO no more making fun of my child's 711 feet...I'll just bring up the cherry soap at the air show...

Sarah said...

Ok, I just pee-d my pants! Oh poor Nicole! Who would have ever thought. I can picture her scrubbing her hands raw after that!

Karen said...

I feel you, Erica. The other day I had the kids in the men's bathroom at the church that hosts our preschool, and I turned around to see Sinkinesh holding the men's urinal cake thing! I have no idea if it went in her mouth, and don't want to know...although it's probably not a huge stretch. :)

anewday said...

I have so much empathy for you. I would have died. I think perhaps literally.

I am going to tell my children about pee cakes right now. Then I am going to go wash my hands, scrub my face, gargle with hydrogen peroxide and take a shower. Then I will pretend I never read about pee cakes and children using them as soap.

Sara said...

I was hoping that wasn't the direction the story was heading! The SAME thing happened to Avery when she was five and out on the golf course with Jeff. I. Had. A. Fit! It makes you feel dirty just thinking about it, doesn't it?

Bethany Fegles Photography said...

Oh my goodness, Erica! My husband and I were in tears, laughing so hard at your story! Oh man, those germy moments with kids are rough! Josh is a germaphobe too, so there was much sympathizing.

One time Josh and I had to get Selah's temperature the "special way" with vaseline... anyway, after that was done and as we were putting her diaper back on we heard Jude say, "Delicious!" He had walked in the room after the fact and promptly put the thermometer into his mouth to taste it, not knowing where it had been! I freaked out!! Oh the horror. :)

Thanks for sharing your story!

*Overflowing* said...

You know...I've been thinking about this all day since we talked and I was hoping to come up with something really witty but you know what...there just simply are NO WORDS!!!!

alittlemoore said...

Oh my! Note to self...teach Alaina about urinals..so gross!

Julie said...

Thanks for the laugh!! I'll be sure and educate my daughters about this....

WhitneyandScott said...

haha Good to know! That's hilarious (probably laughing harder than I would have it if had been my kids washing their hands in a urinal haha). I laughed out loud reading this.